"What if this is as good as it gets?"

Have you ever wondered, while eating a scrumptious chocolate cake, whether you will ever eat cake that is as delicious ever again? Does that niggling thought turn your spoonful of chocolate into ashes, because you now know that it will be your last? Or does it make you relish your serving all the more, because you know that you will never enjoy any other cake as much?

Do you recall a time when you were immensely moved by a line in a book or a poem, a scene from a film, or by the way the guitar was strummed in a particular song? Did you ache to share the exact sentiment you experienced? Did you try to communicate, and fail? Did you receive indifference as a response? Did you wonder why you couldn't experience the moment by yourself? Did you resent your compulsion to tell someone else about it? Did you remind yourself of the times when you were unreceptive of someone else's earnest observations?

Is there anyone you yearn to forgive or be forgiven by? After convincing yourself that it did not matter, are you occasionally struck speechless by the debilitating bitterness between the two of you? Are you tempted to succumb and abandon the reasons you were adamant about being worthy of inducing a permanent rift? Do you despise yourself for your temporary weakness? Do you find the weight of a lifelong grudge bearable? Could you forgive yourself if you forgave or asked forgiveness of him/her?

Are you addicted to your cell-phone? Do you often find yourself looking away from whatever it is that you were doing to verify whether you received a text-message? Do you compulsively check whether your text-messages were "delivered" to the recipient? Are you irritated when you receive messages from someone else when you are awaiting a response from the eternally elusive "somebody special"? Have you ever abandoned your cell-phone when you went on vacation and felt the burden of expectations fall away?

Why are we so certain about what we want until we finally receive it? After months of anticipation and trepidation, why does that which we so ardently desired give us cold feet? Is it the fear of being disappointed? Is it that recurring concern that this will most definitely not be as brilliant as that was? But is it necessary for everything to compare to what we had in the past? What is in the past is in the past for a reason, isn't it?

"You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it."
 - The Joker, 'The Dark Knight'


This year - Let go.